Feedback is a Gift — You Must Be Kidding!
According to dictionary.com, a gift is:
“Something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.”
In short, something to be thankful for.
So when we say “Feedback is a gift,” it's understandable if your first reaction is:
“You’re kidding, right?!”
If you’re like most people, the very word "feedback" conjures up images of awkward conversations, sweaty palms, and anxious moments. It can feel easier — and far safer — to say nothing at all.
But here’s the truth:
If you're leading a team, developing others, or seeking to grow yourself, feedback is essential.
In fact, Ken Blanchard famously calls it “the breakfast of champions.”
When given well, feedback offers insights, encouragement, course-correction, and genuine growth opportunities. It can help someone fulfill their potential — sometimes saving them from unintended negative consequences, even job loss. In that light, feedback is a gift:
an investment of thought, courage, and care in someone else's success.
So how do we give the gift of feedback well?
Here are some practical steps to guide you:
1. Start with Motivation
Ask yourself: Why am I giving this feedback?
If your motive is to build, encourage, or support someone’s growth, you’re on the right track. Feedback given from a place of care — not punishment — is far more likely to be heard and valued.
2. Be Clear on the Outcome
What would you like to see happen as a result?
Is it a new behavior? A mindset shift? Greater confidence? Clarity on your goal helps ensure the feedback is purposeful and constructive.
3. Choose the Right Time and Place
Feedback should be respectful — and private.
A quiet meeting room or a relaxed coffee catch-up beats the middle of a busy office floor every time.
(And remember: performance reviews are not the place to introduce brand-new feedback. No surprises.)
4. Focus on Observations and Implications
Stick to the facts.
Use “I” statements to describe what you observed:
"I noticed..."
"I observed..."
"I’ve seen..."
Then gently share the impact of those behaviors — because often, people simply aren’t aware of how their actions land.
5. Invite Dialogue
Feedback should never be a monologue.
Ask for their view. Create a safe space to share perspectives and uncover underlying reasons behind behaviors.
6. Explore Alternatives and Positive Implications
Brainstorm with them: What could be done differently next time?
Help paint a positive picture of what success looks like if changes are made.
7. Agree on Next Steps
Clarify what actions they’ll take — and schedule a time to check in again. Following up reinforces your commitment to their growth.
Final thought:
Next time you hesitate to offer someone feedback, remember:
You could be giving them something truly valuable — something that might shape their future for the better.
And just as importantly, be open to receiving gifts too — ask others for feedback on how you deliver it!
To learn more, please contact us.